I got the company car!

Haha.

I just came to a realization, 
The children of my generation are going to be victims. Victims of being the subject of facebook pictures. I mean, that's all I see. For friends of mine that have recently had children there are hundred and hundred of pictures! People hold the baby to take a picture with the baby. I mean, I had a few pictures when I was younger, and a few professional ones as well. But with the easy distribution of photos over facebook, pictures of babies are becoming more and more prominent. A child could probably track his whole young existence through the pictures on facebook. But maybe that'll be good? Are they better off? Should our parents have taken the time to take more pictures? The thing was, that before digital cameras, you would have all these photos that, usually would sit in boxes and people would only look at them when spring cleaning or moving. I bet you if you looked at your facebook, xanga, myspace, etc and figured out just how many boxes you would have to keep to hold all your photos, you would have never taken that many. Does it take away from the value of a photo? Sure it's a picture of you and your friends, but why do we take the photo? To remember the moment? To remember the people? To make ourselves feel important? Don't you get that exciting feeling when posting a new picture to your site, the feeling that says "I have to put these up ASAP so people will see that I did something in my life and I was happy doing it.".
I'm not saying this is the feeling all the time. Do I over-analyze? Oh well, it's how my brain works and it keeps me busy. That's why I'm so quiet all the time. I analyze. But I just was thinking... maybe we should think about the true value of a photo. I mean... I know that when a person dies, who is close to me, and I find a photograph of them, it is one of my most treasured possessions. Because, memory fades. It pains me to say that I can barely remember the sound of my grandparents or their smell when they would hug me and say "I love you.". But then I find a photo. And it brings me to tears because at least I still have their faces. And that brings a little bit of the memory back. I know they were there and they loved me. Each picture I look at, I wonder, when will this picture become precious to me? Will I lose a friend? A family member? And all I'll have left is a photo?
I've made a promise to myself to take more pictures. Not to live in the past, to dwell on it. But instead just to remember. Maybe I'll get myself some boxes.

I've had a hard time lately, hearing God's voice. I feel so far, and yet still protected. And that makes me sad because I'm letting myself pull away. Yesterday, I had some free time, and I just felt called to go to the pier and talk with God. Just get my priorities straight. It helped a little. It was so beautiful. And God made it that way just for me, for that day. Which just shows how much He loves me. And today I rolled down my windows and just let the wind rush through my hair, and I let myself be over-taken by it. It was like an embrace which brought tears to my eyes, because I know He's here. He's waiting. He's letting me try to work out my insecurities on my own. He knows I need Him. I know I need Him. I just need to open my eyes. 

All of my life, in every season, You are still God, I have a reason to sing! I have a reason to worship!

So, thinking about why I blog, why I write all this down. I'm not writing objectively. I'm a girl and I have many, many issues roaming through my mind ALL THE TIME. So sometimes when I'm writing I can start on one subject and branch off into a very different area.

So... one of the many things running through my mind right now is:
It's amazing how God sets things up in life, just when you need them.

Like... He just gives me what I need when I NEED them. Not when I WANT them. And even though it's frustrating, it's something I have to learn to appreciate. Not only live with, APPRECIATE.

Recently, He's been blessing me with friends that I just don't deserve! But the funny thing is, is that they've always been there. For a long time, I've known them, but, for some reason of Gods we had not been as close as we are now. And now that I'm becoming closer with them, I realize they are exactly what I need right now. They encourage me through their discipleship and lives more than almost any other person I've known. Because I know they're there to understand and to support, I'm not afraid to fail, I'm driven to become even closer with God than I was before. And the fact that they share the same desire makes me love them even more!

And this is exactly when I need them to be here. Life is changing, the friends you've had for a long time seem different than before. It's not a bad thing! Because it's life. You change, and with that your friends change too and sometimes that change takes you in different directions in life. But these friends I have now... I know will be friends forever because of the one thing that grounds us and keeps us together. God's amazing love and grace. Will we always be as close as we are now? I don't know, I doubt it. But I know that throughout my life, each and every one of them will be in my heart until the day I meet them again with our Father. When we all get together it would be weird for our conversations to not include how God is impacting our lives and how we're striving to grow with Him. God is in the foreground, background and all around us. Now, no one is perfect, and we're still teenagers, we have our moments, but with these friends... there is a comfort and peace that is God. With other friends I have, I have a fun time, and I love them, but there isn't that peace. There isn't that comfort.

I almost get teary eyed because of God's grace for me. I prayed and prayed for years and years to have at least ONE friend who I could cast my worries upon, and have them council me in the Lord and together we would grow in Christ. Not only has He given me one, but He's given me many!

Through these friendships I have learned that as long as God is the basis, nothing can destroy the bond. I'm no longer afraid of not being liked. I'm no longer afraid of being alone, because God has shown me such a love, that I need no other thing.

I have also decided that I am going to speak badly of NO ONE from now on. God has revealed to me the evils of my own tongue. How dare I look down upon another because I don't agree with the way they're living? I should feel a sorrow and a pain because I know where they're at. I know the struggle. Specifically in their situation I may have NO idea of what they're going through, but I know the struggle against sin. I know it's promises of riches and happiness. It is from Satan that I receive the evil thoughts against another. The only person I should speak badly of is Satan! Because he loves when we speak against one another! Whether is be against a believer or un-believer! Now, mind you, just because I will not think less of a non-believer does not mean I agree. I simply understand why one would succumb to sin if they do not have a close relationship with Christ.

Becoming confident in my relationship with Christ opens my eyes more everyday.

I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ.God is my victory and He is here.

Right here... in my heart. In my room. In my house. In my community. In my state. In my country. In the whole world, He is here. He's with you, He's with me. Right now at this very moment. He's calling for you, He's asking you to trust and to lean into Him. Can't you hear Him? If you can't maybe you should think about what in your life is drowning Him out. Turn it off, turn it away from you and sit in the silence of your sin and guiltiness. It is there that you find the quiet voice crying out for you to grab hold of Love. It is there that you will find the answers and forgiveness you're searching for. Love is here. Love is in His arms. He is Love. He is waiting.

Life is... indefinite. Which is something I have come to accept over the past few years. I don't think the words "never" and "always" should be used all that much. Like oh "Me and so-and-so will never get along" or "They'll always be my favorite band."
It's just unrealistic. I remember saying that I would always hate pickles. And now they're one of my favorite things to eat.

I think the only thing was can be definitely certain is is Christ's love for us. And our security in Him. Now, that is something that will never fade. Other things in life can be taken away, changed, added or whatever! Nothing in this life truly stays the same. Even your love for people can change. Take a couple who when they first get together are in like with one another, then that like turns into a more passionate love and they both are in love with one another, they get married and that feeling of passionate love is still there but it starts to dull. I'm not saying married couples can't stay in love, they can. But the love changes. It turns into a deeper, not as passionate, but more substantial love. You learn to rely on one another. It just all changes.

Why am I talking about this? I have no idea. Haha I was going to write about something completely different that I don't even remember anymore and then this came to mind and the ideas began to pour out from my brain. I guess it's because I've caught myself too many times breaking promises I made to myself to "never" and to "always". I'm not saying you shouldn't try to stick with your commitments. When in the right context commitments are great. I'm just saying don't be afraid of change.

Except for Obama's "change". That's some scary stuff right there. We need him out of office RIGHT NOW. But I should be careful what I say. Because soon the internet may become an "open internet" and the government will be able to monitor what I say and think and do. I mean really guys? Why aren't we running for the hills? Let's just hope he doesn't completely ruin us in the little time he'll have in office. Haha alright, enough of a rant.